More Goops and How Not to Be Them ... »

Behavior ‌ Etiquette ‌ Etiquette for children and teenagers

Gelett Burgess

More Goops and How Not to Be Them

A Manual of Manners for Impolite Infants

With 90 illustrations by the Author. 88 pp. Small 4to. Frederick A. Stokes Co., New York. $1.50

MORE GOOPS AND HOW NOT TO BE THEM

A Manual of Manners for Impolite Infants Depicting the Characteristics of Many Naughty and Thoughtless Children With Instructive Illustrations

By GELETT BURGESS

NEW YORK

Frederick A. Stokes Company

Publishers

COPYRIGHT, 1903, BY GELETT BURGESS

Published September, 1903

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CONTENTS

Introduction Goop! Goop! Goop! Window—Smoochers Visiting A Low Trick Picking and Stealing When to Go Loyalty “Ain’t” Indolence Nell the Nibbler The Law of Hospitality Justice The Flower Hospital A Puzzle Puppy Goops Frankness Exaggeration The Duty of the Strong Noise! Noise! Noise! Walking with Papa Stealing Rides Piano Torture Untidy Goops At Table A Goop Party How to Eat Soup Inquisitiveness Baby’s Apology Don’t Be Good In the Street Write Right! Sick Furniture Wet Feet Borrowed Plumes Dress Quickly! The Goop Picnic Danger! Book—Manners The Reason Why Poor Mother! In Goop Attire Cheating Impossible

INTRODUCTION

Children, although you might expect My manners to be quite correct (For since I fancy I can teach, I ought to practice what I preach), ’Tis true that I have often braved My mother’s wrath, and misbehaved! And almost every single rule I broke, before I went to school! For that is how I learned the way To teach you etiquette to—day. So when you chance to take a look At all the maxims in the book, You’ll see that most of them are true, I found them out, and so will you, For if you are as GOOP derided, You may perhaps reform, as I did!

WINDOW—SMOOCHERS

Little Goops are marking
On the window pane;
I forbid, in vain!
Noses, when they’re greasy,
Leave a smooch so easy!
Rub it out again!
I shall have to scold them,
For I’ve often told them,
Kindly, to refrain!

A LOW TRICK

The meanest trick I ever knew
Was one I know you never do.
I saw a Goop once try to do it,
And there was nothing funny to it.
He pulled a chair from under me
As I was sitting down; but he
Was sent to bed, and rightly, too.
It was a horrid thing to do!

WHEN TO GO

When you go a—calling,
Never stay too late;
You will wear your welcome out
If you hesitate!
Just before they’re tired of you,
Just before they yawn,
Before they think you are a Goop,
And wish that you were gone,
While they’re laughing with you,
While they like you so,
While they want to keep you,–
That’s the time to go!